


like what you like

by nosecoffee



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosthunters, Comedy, Concussions, Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, Fluff, Ghosthunters AU, Ghosts, Humour, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I did actual research for this one, M/M, Magical Realism, New Conspiracy: Connor didn't finish the milk, Paranormal, Phone Conversations, Skateboards, Supernatural - Freeform, The Amazing Asshole Jared Kleinman, The Author Regrets Nothing, almost getting run over by a u-haul truck, i don't know where I'm going with this one, slurpees
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 05:06:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12226362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: He kicks Connor so hard in the in the balls that the ghost flies out of him. In front of Jared. And that's when the Good Samaritan part of Jared kicks in, and he drags Connor back to civilisation (if he were stronger, he'd carry him, but he's a weak-ass bitch)."Despite the fact that I am in an incredible amount of pain right now," Connor says in a strained voice, "that's the most awesome thing that's ever happened to me.""Put it on your resume." Jared hisses back.(Or, the one where ghosts are run-of-the-mill, Same Shit As Always, but still pretty rad to teenagers who've got nothing better to do than hunt them)





	like what you like

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Grace Kelly" by MIKA
> 
> Don't ask me where this came from. (Despite never having watched even a second of Buzzfeed Unsolved, this was partially inspired by Buzzfeed Unsolved.) Bare with me.

Thing is, Jared actually doesn't believe in ghosts until Connor Murphy literally gets possessed in front of him, in grade four, after they sneak into the abandoned fair ground.

It isn't his idea, either, it's Connor, messing around, and sneaking over the fence, and Jared, the Good Samaritan he is, sneaks in, after him, to watch him fuck around on the broken down, creepy-as-hell carousel.

So, at that point, not quite a Good Samaritan, but, then, Connor goes stiff as a plank, and topples off the faded pink carousel horse, face first. Into the dirt.

Still not quite Good Samaritan, Jared howls with laughter.

Connor gets up, movements jerky, and smiles at Jared, and that's when Jared realises something's wrong.

"Uh, Connor?" And when Connor rushes at him, hands outstretched, teeth bared, Jared does the one thing he can think of.

He kicks Connor so hard in the in the balls that the ghost flies out of him. In front of Jared. And that's when the Good Samaritan part of Jared kicks in, and he drags Connor back to civilisation (if he were stronger, he'd carry him, but he's a weak-ass bitch).

"Despite the fact that I am in an incredible amount of pain right now," Connor says in a strained voice, "that's the most awesome thing that's ever happened to me."

"Put it on your resume." Jared hisses back.

It's not exactly the best way to become friends, but, after that, Connor won't go exploring anywhere without him, because what if he gets possessed again?

Jared thinks it's nice that Connor would rather get kicked in the nards then suffer as a host for the undead.

Jared thinks it's nice that Connor would rather it be him than his equally ghost-obsessed little sister, Zoe. She's not quite as impressed with this development.

"Fine! I'll find my own partner! I'll hunt ghosts without you! See how you meanies like it!" And she's nine, so she should have been interested for, at most, a week and then gotten interested in something else, but, as it turns out, all the Murphy's are as stubborn as Connor, and she sticks by that promise.

And she teams up with Alana Beck.

(It's the worst when both Alana and Jared are invited around on the weekends, because it's like Thunderdome who gets the TV to watch trashy ghosthunter shows, and who gets the cookies, and who can sneak into who's room.)

(Jared's actually having the time of his life, believe it or not, but that doesn't mean that there aren't hardships he has to face.)

So, believe it, or not, from age ten, dinky Jared Kleinman and beanpole Connor Murphy are best friends. Connor's mom thinks he's cute. Jared's mom is just glad he has a friend. Jared's siblings call him a dork.

And that's how it goes.

~

Eight years later and not much has changed. They're still in the middle of a civil-feud with Alana and Zoe (now branded _Galaxy Gals Ghosthunters)_ and fighting to actually see anything remotely supernatural (which is actually not too hard if you know where to look, an they do).

 _"So, guess who got a client?"_ Zoe sing-songs into the phone. Connor gasps, past his Slurpee straw.

"You did not." He honestly kinda hates how jealous he sounds, but this is his life, so he's just gotta live with the fact that he's jealous of his sister for convincing someone that she could exorcise their house. And get paid for it.

 _"You bet."_ There's the sound of paper flicking against each other. _"Dana Pochalofsky hired Alana and I to get rid of a poltergeist at her house. How rad is that?"_

Connor pushes his skateboard forward again, bumping over a crack in the sidewalk. "How is it that you're suddenly getting clients and I'm not?" He asks her, and then takes another sip of his Slurpee.

 _"Cause I'm the prettiest of the two of us, and you look like you emerged from the woods, suddenly, and asked an innocent bystander if they've_ seen any ghosts, round them there hills." Connor rolls his eyes as she puts on the weird accent to go along with the grating comment.

"Why do you always make me sound like a rabid hillbilly?" He inquires.

 _"It's all the flannel."_ Zoe sighs, and more paper flicks. He hears muttering on the other end, and assumes that she's invited Alana around. Makes sense; they just got their first client. _"My suggestion? Maybe look a little more appealing to the public. Maybe they'll stop ignoring their ghostly epidemic."_

"Maybe." Connor begins to skateboard across the street and that's when he falls off, because a U-Haul truck tries to run him the fuck over.

His phone clatters to the asphalt, just before he does. Connor laughs as his head makes contact with the road. His Slurpee somehow stays intact, but a little bit spills out of the top. The trucks brakes squeal as the driver slams on them. The front wheel crushes his skateboard.

 _"Connor?"_ Zoe's faint voice says. Connor stops laughing and focuses more on the pain in his head. _"Holy fuck, Connor are you actually dead? If you are you better come back as a ghost. What the fuck would be the point if you just straight up died?"_

"Oh my god!" Cries a woman's voice, and suddenly there's doors slamming and feet against the road, and someone dropping to their knees beside him.

His vision is kinda blurred, so the person looking down at him is unrecognisable.

"Ev! Get my med bag! It's in the footwell!" The woman beside him rips off her brown leather jacket, folds it up, and then carefully lifts up his head to slide the bundled up jacket under his head. "Oh, fuck, I am so sorry."

Connor can still hear Zoe yelling into the phone. The woman reaches over him and obviously clicks the speakerphone button because her yelling gets louder and more audible. Connor flinches.

 _"JAMES CONNOR MURPHY IF YOU DON'T ANSWER ME THIS MINUTE, I'M JUST GONNA ASSUME YOU'RE DEAD, AND I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO TELL MOM THAT YOU'RE DEAD."_ Zoe screams.

"Shut up, 'm fine." He mumbles and she stops shouting.

 _"What the fuck happened?"_ She asks. The woman is breathing really loud beside him.

"'M gonna call you back, 'kay, Zo?" He says, and waves a hand. The woman takes his hand and presses it to his chest.

 _"No! Connor!"_ Zoe cries, and Alana speaking in frantic, inaudible sentences on the other end.

"Can you hang up the phone?" Connor asks the woman and she nods.

"Okay." Zoe's voice cuts off.

The truck door slams again, and another person arrives at the scene, muttering about what an entrance they've made. "I can't believe we've been in town less than ten minutes and we've already run some kid down." Says the other person, and the sharp sound of a heavy bag being dropped on the ground sounds.

Connor feels like he should be more bothered by lying in the middle of the road, but it's the middle of the day on a Sunday. Everyone's either asleep, or got something better to do than gawk at him and a couple of strangers.

"Okay, hey, honey?" The woman taps his cheek and Connor turns his head to look at her. Her head is just in front of the sun. Her hair is yellow. Connor doesn't know too many people with yellow hair. Thinks maybe Sabrina Patel's hair was yellow. For a bit, in Freshman year, before she dyed it pink.

"Hello." He slurs out, and smiles. He hopes he looks charming.

"Can you tell me your name?" She asks.

Connor purses his lips. "M'name is James Connor Murphy." He informs her.

"James. I'm Heidi, this is my son, Evan." Heidi tells him. It feels weird to be called James. He's only called that when someone's angry with him. He should've just said Connor. Evan takes his other arm, and presses his thumb to Connor's pulse point. His fingers are ridiculously soft. His hair is a less-yellow shade of blonde. "Can you tell me what day it is?"

"It's Sunday." He says. Heidi shifts and he makes an annoyed noise at the sun in his eyes. He squeezes them shut.

"What about your birthday?" The boy, Evan, is the one speaking, now. He releases Connor's wrist, and instead leans close to Connor to press his middle and index fingers, just under his chin.

"October 30th, 1999." Connor tries not to open his mouth too wide and dislodge Evan's fingers. That'd be inconvenient.

"What street do you live on?" It's Heidi again. She has a very soothing voice.

This takes a bit of thinking. The town is small enough that he never has to tell anyone where he lives. "Twenty-four, Lincoln Avenue." Connor says, and Evan pulls away.

"Alright, no memory loss." Heidi says in a definite voice, and she sounds a bit relieved. "Ev, hand me my torch."

There's a light in his eye. Connor flinches away from it.

"His pulse is steady." Evan says.

"Are you a doctor?" Connor asks, as she takes the torch away and goes rummaging through her bag.

"I'm a nurse." She says. Connor licks his lips.

"Tha's cool." Heidi and Evan. He's never heard anyone in town called that. Well, except his mom used to sigh about her childhood friend, Heidi Hansen, who used to live in the haunted house down the street, before she moved to Canada with her dad. "Y'know, I don' know anybody called Heidi. I don' know you, do I?"

"We're new in town, if you can believe it." Evan replies, and his voice is shaky. A lot of the words he says come out a little elongated, like he's trying really hard to say them right. Like he's trying to get over a stutter.

"Dunno why you'd wanna live here." Connor says, and reaches up, because his vision's cleared a little, and there's a hair in Evan's eye. He pushes it away and Evan goes still. Connor swallows. "We're America's most haunted town, I reckon."

"Neat." Heidi says, and carefully lifts Connor's head off her jacket, sitting him up. "James, can you tell me how you feel?"

Connor wrinkles the name, but replies, "Um, well, m'head hurts, especially at the back, and I kinda feel nauseous. And I can't see you too well. But, otherwise, I feel fine."

Heidi nods. Her eyes are blue. There's a pin holding her hair out of her face. She looks tired. "It's a bit early to say, but I can assume from the slurred speech and the nausea that he has a mild concussion." Heidi says, almost to herself. Evan nods, as if she were saying it to him.

"Should we take him to the hospital?" He asks his mother.

"I don't know if he could pay the hospital bills." Heidi responds, shaking her head. "We should just drop him home, let his mom know what's going on. Look up Lincoln Avenue on google maps."

"Alright. I'll take your bag back to the truck."

"No, that's fine, you get him into the truck." Heidi helps Connor to his feet, and Evan pulls Connor's arm over his shoulders. Heidi slips his phone into his jean pocket. "James, we're gonna take you home, now, okay?"

"Okay." Connor responds, and smiles at Heidi. She scoops her bag and jacket off the ground. "Oh, shit, my Slurpee."

Heidi takes a glance at the drink and picks it up. "Press it against his head." She says to Evan, and Evan takes it in his spare hand. Up close, Evan smells like soap and printer ink. And a little bit like those trees that you hang from rear view mirrors.

Evan finds this description amusing, and tells Connor that he smells like sugar and sweat. Connor can't find it in himself to be anything but pleased that Evan felt the need to reciprocate.

Getting Connor into the cab of the truck is a bit tricky but eventually Connor ends up sitting between the two of them, alternately drinking from his Slurpee and pressing it against the back of his head.

They drop him off at his house, and tell Zoe to give him some painkillers and keep him awake for as long as she can. And then they drive away. Zoe and Alana both support his weight as they lead him into the living room.

"They were nice." Connor says as they dumps him on the couch and Alana walks into the kitchen to get the first aid kit.

"They nearly ran you over." Zoe responds, walking Arne the back of the couch to inspect his head. Alana comes back with Tylenol, and a water bottle out of the fridge. She hands him the bottle and opens the Tylenol.

"Yeah." Connor agrees, and opens his hand for her to deposit the pills. "But they were nice about it."

~

"You're not gonna believe this." Jared says, his phone on speaker, on the bed in front of him.

 _"I got possessed as a child; there's not a lot I won't believe."_ Connor drawls on the other end of the line. He sounds more tired than usual.

Jared pauses his game and sits up properly against his headboard. "Someone's moving into the old Hansen place."

 _"Really?"_ Connor sounds intrigued.

"Yeah." Jared pulls aside his curtain, for the sixth time that night and peers across the road. The lights are on, inside the house. "Blonde woman and a slouchy teenaged boy."

_"U-Haul truck?"_

"Ya-huh."

 _"They nearly ran me over this afternoon and gave me a mild concussion."_ Connor says, and then there's a crinkling noise and Jared's jealous because he's obviously got chips.

"No way." Jared says, letting the curtain fall aside, again.

 _"Yeah. The woman's called Heidi and the boy is her son, and his name is Evan. He's not bad looking."_ Jared snorts at this. Only Connor could nearly get hit by a truck and then note how cute someone is. _"She seems really unfussed that they're moving into the most haunted town in America."_

"This is how horror movies start." Jared sighs, and he really wishes he was lying.

 _"No,"_ Connor corrects, more crinkling in the background, _"this is how Paranormal Activity movies start."_

"Whatever, man, they'll be gone by the end of the month." Jared says, and leans into his bedside drawer to get a chocolate bar. "Mark my words."

_"Speaking of, happy October."_

Jared huffs, in response, peeling open the bar. "Really?"

 _"What's the problem, now?"_ Connor says, impatience laced through his tone. Even concussed he's excellent at making his feelings known.

"I'm just not feeling it, this year." He reasons, through a mouthful of Mars Bar.

Connor scoffs, _"Blasphemy, lies."_ His words are obscured by chips.

"No, really. Aren't we too old for Halloween?"

 _"That's not what you said last year when you were high as a kite in my treehouse, wearing vampire fangs."_ Jared honestly can't dispute that.

"I'm eighteen now." He's basically whining now. It might jut be that his mom was pissed when he got home, still pretty high, at three am, November 1st, last year. Jared really does love Halloween.

 _"C'mon, Jared!"_ Connor pleads. _"Get into the Halloween spirit! Make a ghost!"_

"I heard somewhere that that is called murder, and it's illegal." Jared drawls.

 _"Not if you're the one becoming the ghost!"_ Connor says.

"Connor!" His laughing is muffled, so either he's got his hand over his mouth, again, or he's fallen off his bed, again. Considering the thump, it's probably the latter.

 _"I'm kidding!"_ Comes Connor's faint voice, and then the bed springs from Connor's end squeak and his voice is close, again. _"Besides, what fun would you have on Halloween without me?"_

"You say that like you wouldn't come back as a ghost just to make sure I was having a good Halloween." Jared says, finishing off his Mars Bar and hurling the wrapper as far across the room as it'll go (turns out, not that far).

 _"Well, you've got me there."_ Connor agrees. _"In other news, did you hear about Dana Pochalofsky?"_

"Alana was gloating over Twitter messenger." Jared says.

_"As she always does."_

"She's gonna get punched one of these days." Jared comments, absently.

Connor snorts. _"Not if Zoe has anything to say about it."_

"I've watched Zoe deadlift a hundred pounds." Jared says, remembering that it was his initial offer to go to the gym. "I'm fucking terrified of your sister."

 _"And you should be."_ Connor says, and Jared can almost see him, nodding to himself, on the other end of the line.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this - I really hope that you liked it. If you did, please feel free to leave a comment and/or a kudos, and hmu on Tumblr @nose-coffee.
> 
> Again, thank you for reading, see you whenever I get off my butt and wrote the second chapter.


End file.
